Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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