no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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