Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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