You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
