I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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