Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
