You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
