Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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