he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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