I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
