Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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