you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
