kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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