Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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