i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
