Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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