You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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