Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
