glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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