Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
