Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
