I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
