Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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