i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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