I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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