I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
