dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Randomize
