So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
