I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
