Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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