even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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