chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
