He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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