Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
as a side note pls kill me
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
