I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
