i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
