were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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