hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
