She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
