my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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