i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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