somebody snuck up and got me drunk
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
