Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
