Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
