That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
