the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
