I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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