Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
