He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
