addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
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