you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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